Literally My Favourite Joke

this is a shih tzu not appreciating my joke

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shih tzu.

How To Cry for Half an Hour

So I finished The Fault in Our Stars last night. I figured it would only take a day since John Green is such a good writer (if I swore, I would've used some extra words to describe his ability to write) and then me and my friend obviously need to rehash the entire book together at school today. Obviously.

TFiOS hat!

This is a good of a time to mention it: since I already used the picture of the cover of the book in a post and I am in no way, shape or form a picture repeater, I have decided to fill this post with all the TFiOS swag I've seen while roaming the internet.

So I loved it. Augustus Waters is the most perfect boy known to humankind and it's really a shame that he's fictional. But then again, every girl in the world would absolutely hate each other since we're all going for the same guy.
And their conversations were hilarious and also deep which, congrats John Green, I don't normally enjoy but these were pretty enjoyable. But I don't know if I want to be on the side that says "Normal teenagers don't talk or think like that. We're all awkward and just not anything close to that." or on the one that's all like "That's cause they weren't normal teenagers. They'd never had normal lives and had lots of time to develop all these thoughts about life."
The plot was perfect, there was so much fit into it, like Augustus and Hazel met, they went on adventures, some heart-wrenching things happen and that was the best I could do to tell you stuff without spoiling anything at all. At least I didn't just start a sentence and then stop.
And, of course, with about 80 pages of the book left to read, I started bawling. It really was that sad. And I knew it was going to be sad so I didn't promise to myself that I wouldn't cry. So I literally cried from then until the end of the book. It was just so sad and I didn't want it to happen but it had to.
What surprised me was that the ending was really good. Like once we got passed the horribleness, the tying up the loose ends went very well. Normally, authors just leave you a little too soon before you're ready to be let go and there are a lot of unanswered questions (Except Eva Ibbotson. Love that woman. Her loose ends and triple-knotted and covered in bubble wrap.) but this book managed to answer those questions and also make me happy and have hope and smile.

So yeah. Anything I read in the next while is just going to SUCK in comparison.

Annnd, since I am a Quotations Girl, here are my favourites:

cutest thing of life

“I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.”

“Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” 

“Books so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal.” 

"...the existence of broccoli does not, in any way, affect the taste of chocolate.” 

"Tomorrow?" he asked.
"Patience, grasshopper," I counseled. "You don't want to seem overeager. 
"Right, that's why I said tomorrow," he said. "I want to see you again tonight. But I'm willing to wait all night and much of tomorrow." I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious," he said. 


“And I wondered if hurdlers ever thought, you know, 'This would go faster if we just got rid of the hurdles.” 

Gus's father: "Our children are weird."
My dad: "Nicely phrased.” 

My Emotion is I-Want-To-Punch-You-In-The-Face

Not you specifically, I barely know you. Although that could be remedied if anyone COMMENTED.

Anyway. Completely off topic there.

My friend just lent me her copy that I gave to her for her birthday of The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. (No, I totally did not premeditate that by buying her a copy I could forgo the massive line waiting for me if I ordered it from the library.) And I have been reading it whenever I could all of today. Secretly during chem class, all of my spare and while my sister was hogging the computer.

Now let's zone in on when I was reading it during my spare. I was sitting with the very same friend who will be known in this post as The Owner of the Book and a friend from Data class who will be known as The Spoiler. The Owner is raving about the book as I'm reading it, starting and stopping in the middle of her sentences as she tries to convey the awesomeness of the book while not actually telling me any details. The Spoiler knows nothing of the book but steals it from me and reads the blurb in the front jacket flap. (Side note, isn't it cute how they're called jackets? Like the book is getting all dressed up? Or is it just me? Thought so.) He then proceeds to GUESS THE PLOT TWIST and say it out loud. Now, let's just say that my dear, dear Owner of the Book friend would be terrible at poker as she just does not own a poker face. Maybe it got lost in the mail. Maybe she was given faulty information of when and where we were to obtain them. Who knows. But she completely gives it away that that indeed is the plot twist that left her bawling alone on her couch.
That's when I declared my emotion to be I-Want-To-Punch-You-In-The-Face.

I have tried to push what he said to the back of my mind and carry on enjoying the book play by play but it was incredibly annoying to have it spoiled like that.

Sorry for any vagueness about what the actual plot twist is but I felt like this is the kind of thing you should not pay forward so for anyone who hasn't read the book, I won't spoil what it is for you.

I might possibly do a book review for it (without spoilers, calm your muffins) when I'm finished but I'll have you know I kind of suck at reviewing books. But then again, not being able to sing doesn't stop people who can't sing from singing.

Shout out to John Green for being awesome and writing The Fault in Our Stars.

DFTBA

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